Andrea Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity. I am glad that now she can receive treatment for her mental illness. It will be difficult for her to get better and come to terms with what she did while she was ill. I hope that the one good thing that comes out of this tragedy is that society will be more informed about mental/emotional illness. Perhaps if there had been a better understanding of her illness, more could have been down to help her and prevent this tragedy. Illness is illness, whether it's cancer or depression. People must accept that and realize that you need to treat every illness with understanding and compassion.

The heat continues to scorch here. Today the forecasted high is 99 degrees; tomorrow it's supposed to be 102. It's very humid here too. We are getting a little bit of cabin fever. We do try to get out in the evening though when it is slightly cooler. Global warming seems a lot more real now. Especially when I hear that the Arctic is melting. That is a scary, scary though.

Lily actually ventured up the stairs on her own yesterday...twice! Stinky chased her down the last time though. It was nice to have her up here. I miss seeing her all day.

I know you feel guilty. You keep neglecting to tell me things. Stop hiding behind guilt and just tell me things. You don't need to avoid telling me things. Just be honest. I know it's not very fun to spend time with us. Are you embarassed by us? I don't want you to have any regrets. Regrets are hard to live with. I hope you are reading this. I'm not angry about you having fun and a life. I'm disappointed that my prediction that you would forget about me is coming true.

My crankiness turned out to be the beginnings of a migraine, nausea and all. But I feel better now.

Sometimes I get cranky. I'll admit it. It's hard to care for someone who is slowing losing their memories while one holds down a full time job, and manages a household. Is it really someone's fault that they get sick? I've struggled with depression off and on for 10 years. Did I do something to cause this to happen? Maybe. Perhaps I invest too many feelings in my relationships. During this 10 year period my sister experienced major trauma, my dad had terminal cancer, I found my beloved Sammy lying dead at the top of the stairs, 9/11 traumatized me, and I lost my job but got a new one, I moved to a new house and now I'm dealing with a mom who is slowing losing her memory. Suddenly, I'm no longer caring for myself alone. I've lived on my own for nearly 20 years and worried and cared about everyone around me. I knew that my parents time on this earth was finite so I cherished the times we spent together. I miss my siblings and their children, my aunt and uncle and cousins. My family is small and somewhat close knit. But distance has kept us from seeing each other as often as we would like. Yes, sometimes I get cranky.

The rudest generation. That's what I feel like right now about the greatest generation. I've already mentioned the old guy who tried to run Mom off of the sidewalk. Well, she didn't hear him coming and he got really rude with her yelling "and to think, I fought in WWII for the likes of you!" Then, tonight we were out and about and stopped to listen to a jazz band that was playing. There were picnic tables with 1 or 2 people sitting around them. We asked one old couple if we could join them but no, we would block their view. Another old lady was waiting for her grandkids. Fed up, I left. Everyone thinks the younger generations are rude, and actually all generations are rude. But here I was with my elderly mother who quite obviously cannot stand around for very long, she has a cane, and no one was willing to let us sit with them. They can all bite me! I guess I'm just too accomodating for others. Not anymore, I'm going to try to be more self centered, that seems to be the thing to be nowadays, from family members to society as a whole. Next time you're feeling self centered, try a little compassion instead.

We went to breakfast today and then we went out to the lake to enjoy the sun and the beach. It was awesome and I almost couldn't get Mom away. We were there for 2+ hours. But now Mom has a headache, probably from too much sun. Some cranky old man tried to run Mom off the sidewalk in his coot cart. Heck she needs the sidewalk to walk on more than him!

I also got a new Italian charm bracelet. I'm starting a big one!

Vintage. I never thought I'd be old enough to have worn something that is now considered vintage. But back in 1981 I had a pair of Candies stilletos. Well those shoes are back in style and they are being advertised as 'vintage'. I've officially crossed the line. By the way, those things are killer to walk in.

Last night I was reading the Home for Life Sanctuary website and bawling my head off. So many animals who were abandoned or abused. It rips my heart apart. I was reading about a kitty named Cedric who was burned with acid and left for dead. Someone rescued him (an angel!) and he ended up at Home for Life. Recently Cedric died and I cried that a sweet, innocent animal was mistreated and then ended up in the wonderful place called Home for Life where he was given much love and affection. I think about Stinky and how much happiness she has brought to us, and about Lily who has got to be the best kitty that ever walked this earth and I am so thankful for them.

Mom is having more difficulty walking. She says that she feels very unsteady when she is on her feet. She uses a cane, and when I suggest that maybe she should use a walker she is adamant that she won't use one. She is so stubborn!! I am concerned about how much longer it will be before she falls. Her hygiene has really gone downhill too. I've stopped trying to persuade her to shower, she gets so upset with me when I do! Instead I try to remind her how good a shower feels and she seems to accept that.

Today her friend Edna called to say hi. I need to drive Mom up to her old neighborhood to see some of her neighbors, but when I ask her she never wants to go. She is afraid that they will think she is 'stupid' because she can't articulate sentences very well when actually she does pretty well. Her broker is coming next Thurs. and she is very worried about seeing him because I won't be here. He's coming at 4:00 and I don't get home until later.

I got 3 new charms, the last 3 that I needed, for my Italian charm bracelet. Now I need to start a new one. I think I will get the big bracelet this time, it looks pretty cool.

It's beautiful here today, sunny and cool. It was cloudy the morning but now the sun is out.

Bush vetoed the bill that would provide more federal funds for stem cell research. What will happen to embryos that are never implanted? Wouldn't it be better to let them be used for research? I know this is a tough decision; on one hand you have embryos that will more than likely never become living, breathing children, while on the other hand you have children and adults who are suffering from diseases like diabetes, Parkinsons, cancer and Alzheimers who are grasping at the promise of a cure. Their families and loved ones are experiencing pain and fear as they helplessly watch, praying for something, anything that would give them hope. Stem cell research seems to promise hope. How can you ignore their pain?

There are so many children who are born into this world who experience pain and suffering. Recently there was a 10 year old girl who was found scalded over 70% of her body here. She was born to parents who were far to young to have children. She was removed from her mother's home allegedly because of molestation by the mother's boyfriend. The mother also suffers from bipolar disorder. She was placed with her father and his girlfriend. Last week the girlfriend called 911 and reported that this innocent 10 year old wasn't breathing. When the EMTs arrived she was already dead and had probably been dead for at least a few hours. My heart goes out to that child who was treated so horribly in this life. I hope she has found peace in the next life. Isn't just as immoral to let children like this suffer? Instead of worrying so much about the unborn, perhaps we should divert some of that caring and worry toward children who are already living and breathing outside the womb. If all of the energy that is put into fighting a woman's right to choose were instead put into helping living and breathing children outside of the womb, think of the things that we could accomplish. Think of the pain and suffering that might disappear. If we cared more about making sure that every child had health insurance, food to eat and a loving home to live in I think that we would be accomplishing a lot more morally. Think about it. It's time to start taking care of children living outside of the womb.

Just got done wrestling a toothbrush out of Stinky's mouth. This morning I found my mouth guard (which should have been in my mouth) on the floor. Stinky strikes again.

The humidity has finally dropped. It feels nice. It has been pretty tropical here.

There is a fire raging in the BWCA (Boundary Waters Canoe Area) at Cavity Lake near the end of the Gunflint Trail. They are working to keep it away from the inhabited areas further down the Gunflint. So far it has burned 20 square miles. I'm sure that it was just a tinderbox waiting to happen; it's been so dry all across the state. I hope that they are able to contain it soon. I've never been to the BWCA, but Dad and A have and they loved it. It must be so beautiful and peaceful there.

I've changed my profile photo. That's me at about 3 on my rocking horse. By the time it got to me it must have been in bad shape. I broke springs, handles and stuff. But I loved my horse! It was my favorite thing in the whole wide world. I still love to rock; it soothes me.

Every once in a while it's nice to be told that your doing a good job. It's nice to be rewarded in some small way. The daily routine can become mundane and repetitive; wouldn't it be nice to shake it up and let someone do something different?? Even if just for a day?

The heat is beginning to abate here. It's already is a lot less humid. The humidity gets to me so much. I love being outside and having the windows open. But when it's hot and humid I have to have the AC on or else I can't breathe. Plus, I don't think it's healthy for Mom to be exposed to the intense heat and humidity. We both look forward to when we can breathe fresh air.

In the latest Minnesota Poll, 57 percent of Minnesotans said that things in the United States are "pretty seriously off on the wrong track". The US is engulfed in a war that is not popular, but because Bush started this war we need to finish it. We can't abandon the Iraqi people leaving them to the insurgency. The economy is on shaky ground; if someone looks crosseyed at someone in the middle east the price of gasoline goes up. Don't even get me started on gasoline and oil. I still don't understand why the energy crisis in the 1970s didn't push this country away from gas guzzling vehicles. As sales of SUVs skyrocketed in the 90s I kept thinking of the 70s. I guess we didn't learn any lessons. At least, the American car companies didn't learn any lessons. I'm sure that big oil didn't help either. They are making unprecedented profits at this time. They must be loving the turmoil in the Middle East. A good hurricane would send them into ecstasy. Well enough of my tirade for today.

Today is the 9 year anniversary of the day Dad died. I remember it like it was yesterday. I still miss him so much but like with all things, the passing of time has eased the pain.

We are having thunderstorms and light rain. We need it so badly. It is so hot here still though. Right now it's 82 degrees but the high for today is supposed to be 95. Yucky. We are grateful for AC. It's nice to hear the thunder though.