Friday, October 31, 2008
Tonight I went through Mom's desk and low and behold I found a health care directive in which she clearly and concisely lays out her wishes. Thank you Mom. I also found her plans for her memorial service. Not that I think we'll need these soon, but one never knows.
I love you Mommy. Rest peacefully tonight and get better.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
How am I with all of this? Shocked, stunned, relieved, worried, sad. I realize that having hospice involved does not mean that the end is imminent. I learned that from watching my dad who lived months after he went into hospice. It has happened so fast with Mom though. She still needs to be evaluated but I think they will find that hospice is appropriate for her. And that makes me sad.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tomorrow my sister and I will have a teleconference with the palliative care coordinator at the hospital to help plan for the future with the goal of keeping Mom comfortable and maintaining her dignity.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I am doing better. I was really upset by this whole situation. It affected me quite deeply. Even though I know Mom is not going to ever be 'herself' it's still hard to watch this deterioration as my fellow caregivers know. I tend to 'feel' everything and am extremely sensitive. I also am a 'mama's baby'. But this situation has taught me to trust my intuition and to feel confident in my care of Mom.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
She has a new wheelchair which is a much better fit for her and she can push herself around.
I went to a craft show and then out to lunch with my friend Bettie today. It was good to get out and get my mind off of everything. But I feel guilty and I have to stop feeling that way. Mom would want me to enjoy life, I know this.
Allyson is attending Game 3 of the World Series in Philadelphia tonight. It is raining there and I'm hoping that it lets up in time for the game. She is a huge baseball fan so she will enjoy this. Meanwhile, snow flurries are in the forecast for here tomorrow.
Friday, October 24, 2008
On another front, my sister-in-law is in the hospital having shock treatments. Her depression and anxiety has deepened and she is not in good shape. I'm praying for Mom and sis-in-law and hoping that God will wrap them in his arms and keep them safe.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
- I steered a 700 foot ore boat on Lake Superior.
- In the 90s I attended numerous Guns 'N Roses concerts throughout the US
- I was a political conservative in college and remained so until George H.W. Bush asked 'Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?" and my answer was 'no'.
- I've traced my geneology on my dad's side back to 1600s Yorkshire, England.
- I majored in history and political science in college and now work as a computer programmer.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I have been sleeping through the night and it has made a big difference in my physical and mental health. Tonight I went shopping after work; something that I haven't done in years. I still feel guilty about enjoying time by myself, but I'm getting better about that. Everyone has told me that Mom seems to enjoy the different activities at CB and she always smiles and shows affection to the caregivers. It's just when I come on the scene, she gets upset and agitated. So I try to limit my visits, at least for now.
Mom's cat Olivia has taken to acting weird. She will play with her mouse in the bathtub and she will vocalize for no reason. She wakes me up around 3 or 4 in the morning by licking my face and biting my bracelets. She's very territorial around Lily too, trying to keep Lily away from me. However, I'm Lily's person and she will not tolerate being kept from me. And I won't tolerate not having her around me. I love Olivia very much, but Lily is my baby. We have a special bond. I have a bond with Olivia too, but it's different. I love them both, they are great kitties.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
We pay extra for caregivers to manage Mom's behaviors, which include the agitation. You would think that this would be a given with Alzheimer's but I guess it isn't. Today's market can virtually charge anything, at least here in Minneapolis, because beds for persons with memory loss are few. Makes you wonder doesn't it? What will it be like as the tsunami of baby boomers age and enter assisted living facilities. Is this country ready for it? I don't think it is.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
On Thursday I took a cab home from work so that I could take Mom to the doctor. The driver was listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. Rush posed the question "Do you want to wake up on November 5 and hear that Barack Obama is President?" "Yes!" I said. And that started a whole conversation about politics and the US. This driver is an immigrant who recently became a US citizen. I asked him if he planned to vote and he said he didn't have time. I told him that John McCain was hoping for just this. By the end of the ride I think I had convinced him to park his cab and go vote.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Mom is continuing to settle in to life at CB. She is working with physical therapy and she actually was able to stand and bear weight. She is also working with them to use her walker. My sister got an email update from the facility's marketing director which said Mom was, at that time, working on stuffing a scarecrow. There is always something going on at CB. I'm looking forward to the family support group on the 15th. I've already been contacted by a resident's wife via email. She got my email address from the director of Mom's day program.
I've been trying to get out and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine and get a little bit of exercise. Last night I had my hair cut and colored for the first time in months.
The kitties are doing OK too. Olivia had her annual checkup and I've seen them cuddling together. They've been hanging out in Mom's room, snuggling on her bed. Olivia seems to miss her. I'm going to try to take her to visit Mom in a few weeks. It might be good for both of them to see each other.
I received a letter from friends from Michigan. We grew up next to this family and they are good friends of Mom's and Dad's. I told Mom about the letter and asked if she remembered them. She seemed to remember who they are! She's usually pretty good about remembering certain things, especially those things from her past.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I'm adjusting slowly to her absence. It's hard to come home to an empty house. I'm sleeping through the night now too and seem to be well rested. The kitties are adjusting to Mom's absence but I still plan to take Olivia for a visit at some point, mostly for Olivia's sake. She seems lost without Mom but Mom hasn't mentioned her.