Friday, October 27, 2006
I am tired of being bitched at and crabbed at. Even though I know she doesn't know what she's doing, it's still hard on me. She wants to go out for dinner, then when we go out for dinner she complains that it's busy when we pull into the parking lot. She wants to visit the senior center but when we go to see the woman who sent her a note and that woman is not there she complains and crabs at me. I try to take it one day at a time because if I look too far into the future, thinking about a future of this is depressing. Don't get me wrong, there are some good times too. But my life has changed drastically in a little over a year. Sometimes the responsibility is a huge deal. Sometimes I'm grateful for the time I get to spend with mom. Sometimes I am infuriated by the guilt I put on myself. The monotony can get so old. But I know that I'm making a difference in her life. I know she appreciates it, but sometimes she gets so frustrated by everything she is experiencing. Her life is changing, she is dependent on her kid. That's gotta be hard. Especially since the kid she protected all of her life is now trying to take care of her.