Sunday, September 21, 2008

Heartbreaking

We are home from a visit with Mom at the hospital. Visiting hours are usually busy and tonight was no exception. Several families were visiting their loved ones. J was shuffling from room to room. It breaks our hearts to see him so lost. P was being helped in the bathroom, there was a security guard there to assist because P can become aggressive and might hit his caregivers. V was being fed by her loving daughter who also works at the hospital. Mom was eating her dinner of salisbury steak. She seemed to enjoy it and unlike yesterday she wasn't wearing some of it on her shirt. After dinner she sat and colored in her Hello Kitty coloring book with us. I gave her a head, neck and back massage which always seems to calm her down. She was crying when we left; she wants to go home so badly. Soon Mom, soon. Except it won't be the home you remember. It will be a new home, one with residents who also have memory issues. I hope that she will settle into her new home eventually.

This morning we dropped off some of Mom's things. The residents were having a religious service in the square. As we were leaving, another daughter told us that her mother has lived there for a year and they really like the place. They take good care of her mother, and the caregivers are very gentle and caring. It gives me a little bit of solace to know this.

6 comments:

Annie said...

I'm glad you've found somewhere nice when you needed it! Any word on when the move will take place?

cornbread hell said...

the new place will be soooo much better than where she is now.

for one, there won't be visiting hours.

i hope this salutation hasn't become too trite, but, "peace."

you are doing the right thing for your mom. and you are there for her.

listen..."As we were leaving, another daughter told us that her mother has lived there for a year and they really like the place. They take good care of her mother, and the caregivers are very gentle and caring."

peace to you and yours, robyn.

Cinnamin said...

"Heartbreaking" this word so well describes this disease.

I feel for you Robyn, this whole ordeal with your Mom's hospitalization/evaluation has really been a rough road.

I hope that you are BOTH able to settle in at HOME soon!

((hugs))

Lily said...

Hang in there, better times are coming x

~Betsy said...

For what it's worth, I truly believe that what other residents' families say is like a window into the soul of the place. The words of 'another daughter' really resonated with me. This feels like a good choice, Robyn.

I know you are agonizing, but please know you are doing the very best you can for your mom. If you didn't care, you would have just dropped her anywhere.

(((((hugs)))))

J said...

I know this is hard for you and your sis. But there comes a time when our loved one needs professional care in a place that can keep an eye on them and even give them care and activities that are geared for their disease.
I don't mean to sound as if I'm making light of what all of you are going thru. It's jsut that I know there will come a day that I'll have to do the same with mom but like you, I'll know I'll have done what I could and that her healthcare will be taken care of in whatever facility that she may have to go to.
(((Robin))) you're a good daughter. Try to be at peace as much as possible because you deserver it.