I've been thinking a lot about Mom, replaying her last years over in my brain. I know I shouldn't do this but I can't help it. I think about the fact that she was stuck at home all day, alone, while I was at work. She must have been stir crazy. Moving her in with me really isolated her and I feel so bad about that. Some of the pain is starting to surface and it hurts.
7 comments:
We all do the best we can with our LO's. You did the best for your mom. Don't beat yourself up.
You are right Betsy. I'm just having a blue day. I'll perk up soon I'm sure.
I've done it and everyone I know that's been a caregiver has done it, too. I suppose people that wouldn't do it would not be caregivers in the first place.
It does finally get better.
Flinty is right, it will get better in time. Try to keep in mind, everything you did for your mother was done out of love for her. She couldn't have lived by herself anymore and that is why she came to live with you. Like Betsy said, you did your best. It's all any of us did with what we had to work with.
Nothing is perfect in the world of AD. we just try to make things a bit better out of bad situations. It's all we can do.
We all go through the "would'ves and should'ves", but sweetie the end result is always the same. You just need to go through this. You will question yourself a thousand times but I promise you that you will eventually find some peace.
i ditto what everyone has already said. be patient with yourself.
AND don't forget, she had SO much love from you that was both your blessings. it more than made up for the days spent alone.
YOU DONE GOOD!
Sorry about your loss, but Betsy is right -- don't beat yourself up over it. We can't replay our lives, only live out the present with the knowledge from the past.
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