Sunday, February 18, 2007
Remember how upset I was when you finally divulged that you had gotten engaged? I was upset because I knew that, just like before, you were going to put your family on the back burner. And guess what? My prediction came true. Or maybe I'm just too needy. I don't know. But it seems like you feel that way too sometimes. Because I can sense your guilt. I feel like I've put my life on hold to take care of Mom and that no one really cares about that. Not that I really have much of a life anyway. But I resent the fact that everyone else seems to be living life while mine is slipping away from me. Mom doesn't even seem to care. She complains about me not spending every minute of my day with her. She gets upset when I go to work in the morning and every morning I have to remind her that I have to have a job. I can't take it anymore. You, on the other hand, leaned on me during your troubled time, quite heavily in fact. I wanted to do whatever it took to take your pain and hurt away. So much so that it affected my health. But that is what family is for. Now when I need my family the most, it's not here for me. I resent that so much and it makes me so angry. I'm so tired of worrying every day about Mom's health, and Mom's pills and Mom's comfort. I'm tired of making sure she brushes her teeth, takes a bath and keeps herself clean. I love her with all my heart but it's really starting to get to me. She refuses to have someone come in and she refuses to go to the day care. And she piles on the guilt. You could help by making some of these decisions with me. Why is it only me who is making these decisions? She's your Mom too!