Monday, November 24, 2008

I'm Wearing Purple Before I'm Old

I visited with Mom yesterday for nearly 3 hours. She was eating a slice of lemon meringue pie when I arrived. I was told that she ate a majority of her lunch. She was nervous off and on all afternoon. She would look at me and tear up and reach out her arms for a hug. We shared lots of hugs yesterday. She started crying when I got up to leave. Everyone tells me, "I went through that when I would drop my kid off at daycare" but leaving your kid at daycare is a growth experience for you and your kid. Leaving Mom at CB is the opposite of that. It's growing down. It's a sad experience for me because Mom isn't 'growing up or learning new skills'. I keep thinking that she feels abandoned and I hope that feeling doesn't persist for her. I hope that it's gone very soon after I walk out the door and that she only feels that when she sees me and it reminds her of something she no longer has. God I hate this disease so much. It's the worst to watch someone you love slip slowly away from you. Even so, I'm grateful for the precious time that I can still spend with her. And I know that no matter what the future may hold, at that moment in time she's my Mom and we love each other.


Annie said...

You're doing everything you can. Keep hugging and keep appreciating.

~Betsy said...

You're right, Robyn - this disease does suck. Hang in there. (((((hugs)))))

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