Today after work I stopped by to see Mom. The social worker and the chaplain from hospice had both stopped in to see her and left note. She was in bed when I got there so I searched out the RN asked what was up. Had she eaten today? Taken her pills? Been out of bed? No one seemed to know. They said they asked her if she wanted to get up for dinner but she refused so they left her in bed. I asked if we could get her up as she seemed amenable to it when I asked her. We got her up (after I had a dressing down from the LPN who told me that she didn't have staff to give one resident 'special treatment') I told her that we are paying a lot of money for extra care that we had better be getting or else! Then I told her that it seemed like Mom was being left to languish in bed and I was not going to put up with that. I said that I'm concerned that now that Mom is in hospice that she was being left to let nature take it's course. I will not stand for that. And I put this woman in her place. The caregivers told me that there is a sign in the break room that instructs them not to get Mom out of bed. I asked what the purpose of that is. No one seemed to know. The aides are only doing as they have been instructed. I'm trying to get to the bottom of who is instructing them. Tomorrow I plan to speak to the executive director and voice my concerns. BTW, Mom ate quite a bit of her dinner, and she expressed impatience when I was too slow to feed her. She drank her juice and took all of her pills. Is she just doing this for me or are they not trying hard enough? I know that this is a thankless job, hell I did this job for 3 years! but this is a living, breathing person who is loved very much by her family. I guess for the workers this is just a job, and I understand that I guess. That is why it is important for me to remain as involved as possible. The caregivers seem to be so kind to her and so caring. But are there enough of them? I need to learn more about what I can expect from assisted living memory care I guess.
I'm soliciting ideas for things I can take for the caregivers to thank them. Candy? Some have expressed their love for chocolate. Maybe a nice box of chocolates? Any other ideas? Many of the caregivers are Somali and I'm not sure if there is something that they might really like.