Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday at this time it was snowing pretty heavily. Mom had her hair appointment so we ventured out into the snowstorm. Total accumulations of snow for the day was about 6-7 inches. Today most of it is gone and it is sunny and about 40F. That's the only good thing about spring snowstorms; the snow doesn't last very long.

I had a cell phone message yesterday. The assisted living facility that is closest to our home has two studios available. I am going to stop by to take a look at them tomorrow after work. I'm torn over this because right now Mom is doing fairly well. This will be a difficult decision. Someone asked me today if Mom had seen the facility (she has) and whether she knows about the possible move (she doesn't). How do I break it to her? I'm not sure that she is at a point where she can participate in the decision process. But it just doesn't feel right to exclude her from the process. I'm trying to take this in baby steps but it's hard. It's just feels like a betrayal.

6 comments:

Annie said...

Hi Robyn, just trying to catch up on what's going on with you and your Mom. Sometimes I think the decision-making is the hardest part of caregiving. It is wearying, and I don't have any advice to offer, just a shoulder if you need it.

nancy said...

i wish i had some advice for you about how/if/when to tell your mom but i don't. maybe someone else will. you have always made good decisions so i have every confidence that you will know what's right for your mom. keep us posted. (((hugs)))

~Betsy said...

Have you talked things over with your sister? Maybe she has some ideas?

Sorry, but I also don't have any concrete advice other than to really listen to your gut. What is it telling you? Is it saying that moving mom at this point would cause more harm than good? Or is it telling you that you should make this move now so that you can save your sanity?

I know this is hard. Heck, the whole road of caregiving is hard. There are always decisions and choices and you just never really know if it is right or wrong. All you can do is what your gut is telling you.

Hang in there.

cornbread hell said...

when we made the move it was as a direct result of a meeting mom and my siblings and i had with mom's minister. we went to him specifically for his advice and experience in dealing with such matters.
the combination of her inclusion in the discussion and the fact that her minister *suggested* it made it easier.

it was still a very difficult thing to do. i don't envy you.

cornbread hell said...

one more thought...i've probably mentioned this before, but i really believe the sooner the better - while she can still enjoy and appreciate some of the benefits of a group home, and there are many.

no matter when you do it the transition period will/may seem horrible at first, but it will pass.

rilera said...

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I truly appreciate it. Rick, thank you for your words of encouragement. It is so helpful to hear how your family handled this.