Tonight when I visited Mom she wasn't herself. She was pale and her hands were swollen. She didn't respond in her usual way when she saw me, in fact she didn't respond at all. It freaked me out and I started to cry. I fed her dinner and she ate it all with no problems, even her dessert. They took her vital signs and they were fine. She didn't have a temperature. After dinner she started perking up and her color was better. But the RN and I were debating whether to call 911 and take her to the hospital. I just had never seen her like this except when she was a the hospital and they had just started her on Geodon. I feel guilty about not visiting her since Tuesday, especially since it appears that she wasn't 'herself' all day. This is so hard. I cried all the way home and then I cried some more. I want my Mommy.

On another front, my sister-in-law is in the hospital having shock treatments. Her depression and anxiety has deepened and she is not in good shape. I'm praying for Mom and sis-in-law and hoping that God will wrap them in his arms and keep them safe.