Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm between a rock and a hard place. Caring for Mom is the rock, work is the hard place. Today I worked from home because I needed to take Mom to have her blood drawn for her INR/Protime. I can't get past the idea that my manager thinks working from home is slacking off. But how else am I going to get Mom to the clinic? Mom's health is most important for me. And today her protime was in a normal range. That's a good thing.

I have had several bouts of major depression, the latest one was 3 years ago. During that bout, which was definitely the worst bout I've had so far, my manager was not very understanding. I admit that I felt awful and probably didn't have my heart in my work. It's hard to concentrate on doing a great job when you don't even feel like living. My manager has not gotten over that. In fact it seems like I am being held back because of it. Now, I'm caring for my mom and I feel like that too is being held against me. Luckily I've been with a great therapist for those 3 years and she has really helped me a lot.

On the plus side, today was a gloriously sunny day. The fall colors are so beautiful. And Mom had a good day too. I am nervous for tomorrow; the health aide comes and the plan is to take Mom to Prairie. I hope it goes OK. Let go and let God.

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Listening to: Sarah McLachlan - Ordinary Miracle
via FoxyTunes

2 comments:

nancy said...

i'll be keeping you and your mom in my prayers.

~Betsy said...

I understand the rock and hard place. You are doing all that you can by hiring aides and getting mom to day care.

Your manager just doesn't get it and that's a shame, because one day he/she may find themselves in a similar rock and hard place.

Hang in there, Robyn. You're doing a great job!