Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mom is very restless tonight. She is finally in bed, but I don't know how long that will last. There are so many parallels between a person with Alz and a young child. Unfortunately, I've never had any children so like a new parent I'm learning as I go and it's not easy. Instead of looking forward to things getting better, I can look forward with dread to things getting worse. And poor Mom, she doesn't know what is happening to her at all. She kept saying tonight that she doesn't know what she is doing. She was very confused and agitated. I think that it is sundowning. But her sundowning always seems to be worse on those days when she goes to daycare. After 3 months she is still not accepting it. She still says that 'she's not like those people there'. I thought she was supposed to start accepting it after a few weeks. It's true what they say, if you've met one person with Alzheimer's then you met one person with Alzheimer's. I am quickly losing my holiday spirit. For so long I've been like the 'little engine that could' trying to remain upbeat and positive, but I'm starting to lose it. Thank God that my own depression has seemed to be tamed. I definitely couldn't deal if that reared its ugly head.

I'm sick of commuting to and from work too. The ride home at night is taking much longer and I'm getting home just in time to deal with Mom sundowning. Oh joy. She was laughing during Raymond tonight though. And she ate the big salad that I made for dinner.


Annie said...

Oh Robyn I feel exactly the same way. We have so much in common. I always think, Wait! There was a reason I didn't have children. I'm not cut out for it! Stop this crazy ride I want to get off! Then you lower your head, put your back into it, and keep on keepin' on, to borrow a phrase.

I hope your Mom settled down last night so you could sleep!

~Betsy said...

I'm sorry your mom is restless again. Could it be she needs a nap during the day? Maybe she is so busy doing things at day care and it tires her out.

I hope things settle soon, Robyn. ((hugs))

rilera said...

Annie, I wish we lived closer to each other. I think we could share a lot.

Thanks Betsy, Mom did settle down and slept until almost 8:30. She is in a good mood this morning. I think daycare just takes it out of her.

nancy said...

russ always slept better after day care because i think it wore him out. does your mom get any seraquel late afternoon for the sundowning or just morning?

i remember all too well how russ used to get up and out of bed a minimum of 5-10 times at night before he finally fell asleep for a long time. your analogy is right on!

this is a tough phase you are in (as if any of them aren't - HA!) - you are doing a wonderful job. be gentle with yourself and take a deep breath. (((hugs))))

rilera said...

Hi Nancy, I am currently trying an experiment by giving mom the Seroquel at dinner time and it seems to work. Today I stayed home with Mom and she was wonderful. Now she is asking me for a cookie! I really think she just gets worn out by all the stimulation and the anxiety of not remembering things.

nancy said...

if your experiment with the seroquel continues to work by giving it at dinner, you might want to give it an hour or so earlier to completely prevent any sundowning. i kept playing with and adjusting russ' meds for the sundowning and found for him that between 4-4:30pm almost entirely eliminated the sundowning. hang in there and don't give up!

Nine Years and Counting

Mom has been gone for a little over nine years. This blog was a huge mechanism for helping me cope with her illness and daily downfall. I...