Sunday, February 24, 2008

Mom and I have the iPod on shuffle. We are shuffling through the pop genre. Right now we are listening to the Carpenters ('memba them??). Karen Carpenter had the most amazing voice. What talent they both have/had. We grew up listening to them in the '60s and '70s. Both Mom and Dad liked to listen to music. I know one of them liked Tom Jones, I'm not sure which one though. Anyway, the pop shuffle has some ABBA, Manilow, Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, Perry Como, Rosemary Clooney and Barbra Streisand. Mom seems to connect to these artists, perhaps there is some memory of them? What a great way to spend an afternoon. And it's 40F! Woo hoo!

I continue to struggle with the idea of relocating Mom to an ALF. I hope that she doesn't feel that I am betraying her or dumping her some place. But I just can't do this anymore. I think she would relate, after all she moved my dad to the hospital days before he passed because she couldn't deal with it anymore. We used to visit my dad's youth director at her ALF place and Mom would say she wouldn't ever want to live in such a place. It was a high rise, retirement community. Very nice. I don't know what problems she had with it. Oh well, I don't think she would want me to kill myself caring for her either. So my dilemma continues. It's not like I'm dumping her some place bad; it's a nice place! I'd live there! In fact, maybe I WILL move there...Mom can stay here.

7 comments:

cornbread hell said...

i think you're doing the right thing. i think it will be difficult for you both for a while. but i truly believe it can be a blessing for you both.

easy for me to say? not really. presumptuous? yes, but i've been there and done that. whatever difficulties arise from the move, the change, your love and care for her will remain constant.

in the long run, that is not only what matters most, but is what is directing your decisions now. trust yourself.

Annie said...

What Rick said.

I think this line should become your mantra. Trust yourself!

rilera said...

Thanks Rick and Annie. It helps to know that you are there for me and supporting me.

nancy said...

i agree, trust yourself. this is NOT a decision that you just made yesterday. since i have been reading your blog you have shown us how you think about things and what would be best for your mom. i know this wasn't a decision you made lightly. you will not be abandoning her, she will be close by and you will become her best advocate. hang in there robyn. (((hugs)))

rilera said...

Thanks nancy. It makes me feel better to know I have you all to turn to.

Cinnamin said...

Thinking of you and sending an extra hug your way today!

I too believe that you are making the right decision for both of you, hard as it may be, you know that you are doing the right thing as you do this out of love for your Mom! She will be safe, taken care of and still loved by you! Win, win situation!

~Betsy said...

I agree with trusting yourself, Robyn. We all know when the time is right even if we refuse to listen to the voice shouting inside. If I had been in your circumstances with my mom, I don't think I could have managed for as long as you have.

You're a good daughter. Hang in there.